Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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