Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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