Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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