Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
