dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
