Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Me. At least after what I've been through.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize