Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
