So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
