half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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