He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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