so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So here I am, sexting at work.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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