I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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