I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
