I just pynch a tree in the face
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I want is dick and wine.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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