I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
