Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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