garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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