i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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