Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
