A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
