My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
