do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
