Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
