He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I have vodka in my lungs
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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