he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
