Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
