i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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