i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
