there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
