i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
