we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
