i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
