It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
