i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
