I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize