We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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