you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He passed out mid-signature
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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