is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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