i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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