I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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