And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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