i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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