he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
PANTIES FOUND
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