This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
