Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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