Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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