At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
