Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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