This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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