You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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