did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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