Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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