i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
