I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
