if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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