At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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