tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
All I want is dick and wine.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize