You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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