Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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