It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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