um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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