its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
