that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
