So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
