Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
