So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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