i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
