New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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