I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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