i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
only if we run a train.
done.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
